Returning to Graphic Design

For the past 6 years, I have been studying Graphic Design and I have never experienced studying a subject which I enjoy and love so much. I love the freedom that comes with the endless range of media to experiment with, the range of possibilities in occupations that it can offer to how invested and engaged I can get with a project. I love the excitement and pride I feel in myself and my work when I create something that exceeds my expectations, particularly when it gets recognition. With many projects I have done in the past, I tend to get heavily invested into what I am doing and spend every living minute either developing it further through experiments or thinking about how I can develop it when I take time away. This is a great trait to have; it shows determination towards my dream job and helps create the best opportunity for me to be able to get the outcome I want. However last year, in the second year of my degree at NTU, I had a few projects in a row which I was not impressed with the outcomes in the slightest. I felt like the outcomes were not professional enough for my own standards. It especially did not help seeing all my course mates amazing work and naturally comparing my own to theirs. As I get so engaged into these projects and spend a significant amount of my time working towards them, I found when a few went wrong in a row, it really took a toll on my mental health and confidence. I started doubting myself and whether I was good enough for Graphic Design, as well as doubting my own character and intelligence. I could tell I was not presenting myself with the confidence which I once did, both when presenting my ideas and final designs at university and even in social situations, in everyday life outside of design. I spoke to my tutor about this last year, and she politely explained to me that I should not get too heavily invested into my work like that as it is not healthy for me. I should not be relating my own work to my own character. I am not my “failed” projects.

This is why, over the summer holidays, I took a complete break from Graphic Design.

I want to have fun when I am designing. This has always been my main passion and what I love doing. It’s something I never want to lose. Worst case scenario for me is to leave university with losing all confidence in myself, my work, and losing my passion for design. Having this break has allowed me to take a step back from the situation and see what I need to do to go further as a designer. When I have a project that doesn’t go the way I intended, instead of letting that get me down, I need to keep my head high, look at where it went wrong and what I need to do for the next upcoming project to help ensure that I do not make any mistakes like that again. Having this break has made me go from dreading doing work from the fear of hating what I will create, to now excited for experimenting and starting my third year projects. I need to remember that even though I am 6 years into studying Graphic Design, I am only 20. This is the start in the grand scheme of everything.

(Eiko Ojala, Illustrator & Graphic Designer)